The Hillbilly Hangs with the Beasts

It's been a while since you've heard from him, but My Hillbilly is still here being just as wonderful as ever. Today he wants to talk to you about...this:


In my business of driving and picking up various types of samples from veterinary clinics, I have seen all types of animals, people, and events.   Some are sad, as some people lose their pets, and others are quite funny and adorable.  I have chosen to write about the funny or adorable ones.

I arrived at one clinic that had a glass front.  As I stepped out of the car, I noticed that there was a golden cocker spaniel inside that had decided I was coming to see him -- while I was still 30 feet away.  

He was so excited!  He was one of those dogs that didn’t just wag his tail, he wagged all over!  Look!  He is coming!  I love him!  Who is coming?  I don’t know but I love him and he will love me!  I step inside the veterinary and the owner says to his dog ---- Kill!  His dog continues to wag all over, and I told the owner, "I guess that he might kill a dog biscuit!"

I continue on to pick up the lab samples and then come back to the front.  This time the dog jumps on me and wraps his legs around my leg to try to keep me from leaving.  I said to the owner, “Friendly dog”.  

The owner then says, “If you think this one is friendly, you should see his brother.”  Yep, you guessed it, they would be great team of watch dogs!  You can see them reacting to burglars.  Oh!  Oh!  I am so happy that you have come to see us!  I love you!  Do you need help carrying out that TV!  Did I mention that there is another TV upstairs?  Did I mention that  I love you!  Don’t go!  Please come see me again!  Plea---se!!!

At another veterinary to get the samples, I walk by the cages where animals are kept overnight. I stepped through the door and a dog, which I hadn’t yet seen, crashed into the cage door right by my head to try get me by the throat.  That was only funny from the standpoint that this brave hillbilly almost messed his pants.

At another veterinary, where I walk by the cages, there was a Great Dane with its head down, legs sprawled, leaning against the cage gate, that appeared to be completely oblivious.  I asked what was going on with it and was told it was liking its medicine ---- really liking its medicine!  I suspect the dog left there and began looking for the local doggie drug dealer!

One night as I was picking up samples, the vet and assistants asked me to come look.  They were having a good night.  They showed me 12 newborn Pitbull puppies and were doing a c-section delivery on a cat.  As it would for most of us, the wonder of life and cuteness of about anything newborn had them all in a great mood.  It improved Hillbilly’s mood also!

For my last and probably funniest event at a vet, I was walking in front of another glass fronted veterinary.  I was looking in, when I noticed a (probably 18-20 year old) girl who almost seemed to be dancing in front of the counter.  It looked kinda like an odd (really odd but somehow appealing) mating ritual dance.  The woman attendant was laughing.  I walked in and asked what was going on.  I was told that the girl had a pet rat which was in her sweater  -- which she was wearing!  

She was going through all kinds of motions and gyrations to try to get it out.  The rat was smelling cats, dogs, and strange humans and was doing everything it could to not be taken out.  I then, in a questioning voice, said something to the effect, you have a rat in your sweater?  And she said, "Yes --- he is quite a handsome thing." Then she asked if I wanted to see him.

My first thought was that rats are not handsome!   They are beady eyed little rodents which we did not want to have around our houses, barns, and feed sheds back on our Missouri farm.  But I told the girl, sure, let us see it! After a couple more minutes of watching her continued dancing about to try to remove the rat, and joining the attendant in laughter, I decided that this was going to take more time than I had and I left .  

As I left, I thought to myself that if there had been young men there at the time, they probably would have overlooked the strange dance because she was cute, sweet and hilarious.  And who knows?  If they were beady eyed with eyes close together, and had odd whiskers, she might have gone out with them!

I hope everyone has a great new year!
From the Hillbilly’s corner!


Have you seen anything cute, funny, or interesting during a trip to the vet? Share in the comments!

A Hillbilly Tour of Epicurean Delights

If there's one thing My Hillbilly knows about it's food. He's here today to  share some food insights with you. Is it good? Two words: deep-fried bacon.

Being a hillbilly and a fine food connoisseur (somewhat), I decided to give information that all you non-connoisseurs might appreciate, such as some of what I consider my favorite foods, restaurants, etc.  Now, I realize some may disagree with my choices, but remember, the reason you won’t agree is your non-connoisseurism!

Source

Looking at different foods, best fried chicken ever was at McShane's, (no longer in business), in Conway, Missouri.  This chicken was served on their Sunday buffet (was not what they served during the week) and was phenomenal.  Just as good or better, was special cut bacon, breaded with the same stuff as their chicken and also deep fried.


My favorite hamburger from a restaurant, was at Wyota Inn in Lebanon, Mo.  The restaurant is no longer the same.  They had a hamburger called the Ox Burger.  It had 12 ounces of hamburger and goodness.  They had a smaller 8 ounces of burger with cheese called the Yellow jacket burger, (named after the LHS mascot.)

 They also had some good greasy onion rings.  A single order of onion rings was an entire, mounded platter.  And on top of that, the restaurant was known far and wide for their pies. Let’s see, an oxburger, fries, onion rings, finished off with a big thick piece of coconut cream pie ---Mmmm good!  Oh quit complaining, heart. Man up and take one for the team!

Best restaurant for pies was a place called Trotters.  They had a couple of locations in Springfield, MO.  They are no longer in business.  They were a great barbecue place.  I particularly liked their ham and beef barbecue sandwich and their buffet which had great cinnamon rolls.  But the star of the show as far as I was concerned was their German chocolate pie.  It was nigh on to perfect.  I have been looking for recipes to try to duplicate it. Wish me luck in accomplishing that!

Best pecan pie ---- my wife's!  Sorry!  She doesn’t just make them for everyone!  They are mine ---- all mine!   Ya –Ha-Ha!  Speaking of pecan pie, when I was in school in Springfield, MO, there was a place called the Coffee Shop in the basement of The YMCA, that made mock pecan pie.  It was wonderful!  When I was young and could eat gobs, I would buy two pieces!  They claimed that no one could get the recipe from the manager.  When I got ready to leave Springfield, I bribed him to get it.  I got it, but it was never quite the same????  I don’t know why unless he stiffed me!  It was still pretty good!

For steak, we go to Texas Roadhouse in this area.  However, my favorite is J. Bruners at Osage Beach, by Lake of the Ozarks in Missouri.  They also specialize in deep fried lobster, which is very good and very rich!  They have great salad which is brought to you in a bowl with all the fixin's and dressings.  Though I love ranch dressing, they make their own creamy Italian dressing which is probably my all time favorite salad dressing!  Oh, and according to my daughter, and I probably also agree, they have the best onion rings anywhere.  Of course, there are a whole bunch of restaurants that are great at Lake of the Ozarks!

 

Mexican food can stir up an argument!  There are the purists who claim old time Mexican food is the best!  I disagree and I have figured out why.  Original Mexican food is made with cheaper cuts of meat and the meats are not flavored as much.  It seems like the flavoring is mostly done with sauces.  In Modesto, I like Chevy’s for their chips and salsa, their steak quesadillas, and their fajitas, (all types).  Some will say that they are not original.  Okay, I agree – but there are a whole lot of Mexicans that seem to really like it too!  In Missouri, Mexican Villa in Springfield has a great burrito enchilada style.  They also have the best cheesy dip I have seen to go with chips.  

Probably my favorite place to eat Mexican was at Lake of the Ozarks at another place that closed.  They had great chips and salsa and when you had to wait for a table, they sometimes took fresh warm tortillas and filled them with strawberries and whipped cream to hold you over while you waited.  Give me a few of those and something to drink and someone else can have my table!  

They also had a great walnut brownie and ice cream on which they drizzled fudge or chocolate sauce.  They also drizzled the sauce on the plate to decorate it.  I was a little startled once, when I took a young woman there on one of those get to know one another to see if we wanted to actually go out on a real date type of occasions.  She wound up eating the brownie and ice cream and then licked the sauce from the plate --- while looking at me!  I was thinking, please do not let anyone else be seeing this and if so, please not let it be someone who knows me!   Check please!  Not exactly my type!  No, we didn’t ever go out again!

Best cheesecake I ever had was at one of the Mexican restaurants down by Lake of the Ozarks.  They deep fried the cheesecake in flour tortillas and topped it off with strawberries and whipped cream and there was some other topping you could get.  I forget what it was because I got hung up on the strawberry and whipped cream one.

Best Chinese ever, was actually Korean but said it was Chinese because most people think of Chinese food.  It was an all you could eat buffet in Lebanon, Mo.  It wasn’t in the best location but the food was ultra-fresh and ultra-good. They had all types of chicken and all types of beef recipes.  All of them were good and flavored to where each could choose to fit their limit of heated spiciness.  One of the best Chinese recipes ever is Cashew chicken as invented in Springfield, Missouri of all places!  They have nothing like it here in California. Best egg drop soup and cashew chicken I have eaten was at another hole in the wall place in Lebanon, Mo.  I forget the name.

I could go into others but can probably get a good enough argument going on just this list.

From the Hillbilly’s Corner  
The Hillbilly, fine food connoisseur

So, why is it that none of The Hillbilly's favorite Missouri restaurants are no longer in business? Could it be because he moved to California?

This Post is Made from All New Materials and Has Not Been Recycled

So The Hillbilly says I should surprise you and write a new post. He points out that it's been several weeks since I posted anything and, "That one was used."

"Recycled! Nothing wrong with recycling."

"It was used."

So.

It's time for a look at "This Year's Names in the Eighth Grade," also known as "What Names Did All the Cool Moms Choose 13 Years Ago?"

The Year 2000 was brought to you by the Letters A and J. 

This year's students include:

Abel                                               Jackson

Adrian                                           Jacob 

Alex #1                                         Janelle 

Alex #2                                         Jayden 

Alexis                                            Jenna 

Alyssa                                           Johana 

Aria                                                Jordan 

Armando                                      Jose

Athena                                          Joseph #1

Austin                                           Joseph #2

                                                       Julia 

                                                       Julie 

I also have 2 Benjamins, and Breanna, Brianna, and Brianna. I've got 2 Victorias, neither of whom goes by Vicki. There's a Kelsy and a Carlee as well as Hailee and Haylee.  There are 2 Destinys, 2 Graces, 2 Isaiahs, 2 Megans, 2 Olivias, and 2 Tylers.


Some names I've never had in class before:
Aria, Athena, Brock, Dawson, Ebony, Efrain, Fallon, Holland, Jayden, Juniper, Kailani, Keoni, Levi, Lovesimron, Madeline, Merridia, Nancy, Nellie, Olivia, and Tatania. Now try to guess which of those are boys and which are girls.

This year is the first time I've ever had an Alyssa in class. As you know, that's my daughter's name. The first day of school this new Alyssa asked me to call her Lucretia.

"Does your mom call you Lucretia?"
"No."
"Well, then I can't call you Lucretia. Besides, Alyssa is a good name. I gave it to my daughter!"
"Then can you call me Daughter?"
"Sure. Even better, I'll call you Sweetie Pie."

And I do.